Just Fitz
by Fitzzzsimmons
Summary: Just my little angsty headcannon on what happens directly after the season 3 premier, obviously spoilers for s3e01. Fitzsimmon's. Possibly slightly triggering as slightly suicidal thoughts.


I don't own these characters obviously. I hope you enjoy, thanks.

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He collapsed in front the stone, hands bloody from pounding the monolith. It stood as still as before, unaffected by his rage. The tears poured out, exhausted and defeated he lent his head against the rock as he knelt. Desperation to be close to her in anyway took over his hatred for the stone that had taken her. All he could hear where his tears drop against the metal floor. He had failed her, he had tried everything but he wasn't smart enough, wasn't good enough.

Or maybe none of that mattered anyway, the scroll had said she was dead, and so all his months of searching were, perhaps, for nothing. Or maybe, if Coulson hadn't kept bothering him with projects like making his hand or the new hellicarrier or the countless other distractions then maybe he would have found something else. Or maybe he wouldn't have, maybe there was a piece of the puzzle he would never figure out because his brain was still broken. For the last 6 months he'd been so focused and driven it was almost like it wasn't, like he was the old Fitz who could do anything if he put his mind to it. But maybe that was just it, he couldn't do everything, not anymore. If it were him that had been taken Jemma would have figured it out within a week, she was smarter and she wasn't broken. But then again, if she really was dead then there was nothing left to figure out.

The only issue was why have a gigantic stone that killed people by ingesting them, what was the point, it wasn't like it was alive to feed on them, it didn't make any sense to him. What was the point, a big monolith like this, it needed a purpose and murder just didn't seem like a sufficient one.

These were all thoughts that had gone through his head countless times, nearly none stop in the last 6 months. But now he was finally tiring, all these excuses and the only solid evidence he had now was the word 'death'.

A world without Jemma Simmons wasn't one he wanted to live in, and now the monolith was getting its last laugh, refusing to take him, sure it would steal Jemma from him but it wouldn't put him out of his misery. Wouldn't take him to wherever it took Jemma, or just kill him like it did her. It just stood there silently laughing at him.

And now here he is on the floor, crying the tears that had been kept at bay for months due to the hope he had in his heart but now it was all gone, just like she had. 'Why won't you just take me? Let me escape this nightmare, I can't bare not being with her any longer! Please…' Screams turning into pleads.

'Fitz?' Daisy stood in the doorway looking nervous. Obviously wanting to comfort her friend but not wanting to go near the deadly monolith. 'Fitz, please come out of there, you can't be in here.'

'I don't care, I just don't care anymore, I can't keep going, I'm just so lost.' Fitz said, slowly standing up and closing the door. It was one thing to endanger himself but he wasn't going to risk the safety of his friend. 'I just want to see her again.' He cried walking towards the door, still hoping the now unlocked monolith would take him.

'I know it's hard Fitz but this isn't the answer.'

'Then what is?' suddenly filled with a new rage and a target to take it out on. 'Tell me what to do if you have all the answers, how do I cope when the love of my life, my everything, is taken? How am I meant to just move on?' Fitz yelled, unaware that this was the first time he had voiced such strong feelings out load to a member of the team. 'We had finally worked things out, we had a date.' He wept as he reached her and she closed the door behind him.

'I'm sorry, sometimes we just don't get our happy endings that we deserve, and it sucks and it's not fair, and I don't have the answers but that's just how it is.' She took him in her arms and they stood there hugging next to the torn yellow tape and the door he'd kicked open. Her shoulder grew damp with his tears but she couldn't complain as she too was crying on him as she mourned her friend. The two stood together for what seemed like an age, crying and hugging and comforting each other with their presence.

'I don't know how to just be a 'Fitz', we work best as 'Fitzsimmons', we've always been 'Fitzsimmons', I… I don't know how to be just me, on my own. My entire adult life it's been the two of us against the world, and now it's just me and for the first time in a decade I'm truly without her and I'm just so lost. Daisy I don't know what to do.'

'Me neither Fitz, I'm sorry, I really am.'


End file.
